


Marriage Material

by ughfitz (wokemeup)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Family Board Game Night, HuntingBird, Huntingbird Secret Valentine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9719456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wokemeup/pseuds/ughfitz
Summary: The path to marriage is a complex one, filled with vast Commitments that prove to your significant other that you are indeed “The Marrying Type.” Do too many of these Commitments and you may quickly find yourself…Marriage Material! (Aka, SHIELD Security is hosting its annual Valentine’s Day office party and Lance Hunter is stuck playing a silly game with certain people he’d rather never see again).





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [memorizingthedigitsofpi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorizingthedigitsofpi/gifts).



> Pi, you bring such joy to the fandom, I hope this small gift brings you some as well! 
> 
> Endless thanks to the brilliant [SuburbanSun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuburbanSun) for whipping this into shape -- you're amazing and I cannot thank you enough! 
> 
> As a final note, the game they play is an actual game (I've never played it before), and you can find out more about it [here](http://zipwhaa.com/games/marriage-material/)!

_ Welcome to the Dating Pool, where the single life is care-free and full of selfish bliss…that is unless Mother has anything to say about it.   _

_ Though for some, marriage can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience, for others it is seen as a burden to be feared and avoided. In Marriage Material, you are this kind of person. To you, marriage signals the end of all things fun. It means dinner parties, snot nosed children, and in-laws. However, there is still hope. The path to marriage is a complex one, filled with vast Commitments that prove to your significant other that you are indeed “The Marrying Type.” Do too many of these Commitments and you may quickly find yourself… _ ” 

 

Hunter rolled his eyes.The stupid tagline and name of the game,  _ Marriage Material _ , were too tacky even for his own rather free-spirited taste. He should have guessed that their host and his boss, Phil Coulson, would have picked out such a game for a night like this. In the year since he had begun working at SHIELD Security,  the quirky group of folks who had become the 'SHIELD family' (as Phil liked to call it) were definitely the types of people perfectly suited for a game night on Valentine’s Day.  

 

Phil had sent out the Evite nearly a month ago, and while Hunter was rather inclined to pass on all office party invites, his lack of Valentine’s Day plans and the offer of ‘Free Booze Unless You Lose’ had him clicking the ‘Accept’ button.  

 

Now, scowling at the mess he had willingly walked into and mindlessly gulping down the contents of his trusty red cup, he realized what a huge mistake he had made.  

 

Parties like this just weren’t made for Lance Hunter. His preferred the kind of events that involved more alcohol (loads more) and preferably more women with...less clothing. What could he say? He loved a wild night out, something he wasn’t likely to find at this event.  

 

Lance Hunter, surrounded by the happy faces of his co-workers and sitting directly next to the Spawn of Satan, was (unsurprisingly) absolutely miserable.  

\---

_ Earlier that night _

 

Thirty minutes into the bleary Valentine's Day evening, Hunter had had enough peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter, and enough small talk to last a lifetime. He begrudgingly looked up from the bowl of nuts when he heard Phil clear his throat in the middle of the room.

 

“Attention!  Attention, everyone! If you’ll please head to the other room, we’ll get the game set up and start in about ten!” Seeing the room begin to clear and Phil lugging away what remained of the beer stash, Hunter begrudgingly headed over to await the misery of game night.  

 

Once in the room, Hunter rolled his eyes at the couples lounging around the table, yet again reminded of SHIELD Security’s notoriety for matchmaking.  

 

At its core, there was Phil Coulson and his long-time partner, Melinda May. Rumor had it that they met while on a top secret job, one that not only brought them together as business partners, but as a romantic pair as well.  

 

Then there were Fitz and Simmons. Fitzsimmons, as the workplace had taken to calling them, had swept all of their coworkers along on their dizzyingly romantic tale. While their story had spanned nearly two years, once the pair had gotten together, it was like the universe had finally shifted into place. At least, that’s what the office gossip, Daisy Johnson, had wistfully explained one particularly boring afternoon. Despite his hardened, cynical heart, Hunter had to agree with her.  

 

There were Daisy and Robbie, the couple whose relationship never failed to add a nice bit drama to the dull, dreary days of cubicles and high-tech screens. Mack and Elena had only recently become an item, but their light jabs and quicks kisses were already an integral part of the workplace.  

 

And then there was him. Lonely Hunter, destined to remain single until the end of time. Not that Hunter was complaining  – oh, no. Hunter was nothing if not happy to remain single. He preferred traveling alone, picking up a few quick hookups here and there to appease his needs. It didn’t bother him in the slightest when he saw Fitzsimmons giving each other those sidelong glances, or when he sometimes (unfortunately) caught Phil and May liplocked in the kitchen.  

 

No, none of it ever made him jealous; it simply annoyed him.  

 

As the noise of the party reached its peak, Hunter made his way over to the table, only to feel a presence behind him. Turning around, he nearly dropped his cup when he looked into the eyes of the blonde standing there.  

 

_ What the fu-- _

 

“Everybody, everybody, could I please have your attention?” Phil called out, effectively cutting off Hunter’s thoughts (though doing nothing to stop his ogling or the boiling of his blood). “Everybody, I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of our family, Bobbi--”

 

“Morse! What the  _ hell _ are you doing here?” Hunter all but shouted, liquid sloshing over the side of his cup.  

 

Simply looking down at him, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arching, she smirked. “Nice to see you too,  _ Lance _ ,” she replied. “Shocked to find you out on a day like today.”  

 

Scoffing, Hunter raised his cup towards her and spat out, “Nice to see you, too.” The room was tense, so quiet that even the cough from Mack seemed far louder than it actually was.    

“So…” Phil broke the tension. “I take it you two know each other?”

 

“Sorry, Phil. Yes, Lance and I know each other. Unfortunately.”  

 

“Can you believe I was ever married to that hellbeast?” Hunter mumbled. Murmurs broke out amongst the small group.  

 

“Oh, stop being so dramatic! I’m sorry for interrupting this evening’s festivities. Why don’t we get on with the game?” Bobbi suggested, her tone apologetic.

 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Phil replied, his brow furrowed. “Well, why don’t you pull up a chair and we’ll get started.” A bit of shuffling later (and much to the displeasure of Hunter), Bobbi settled in next to him as Phil began to relay the instructions.  

 

“Alright, we’ll begin by creating two stacks. One will be the…” he trailed off as he squinted at the instructions. “Ah, right! One will be the ‘Honey-Do’ pile and the other will be for the ‘Cop-Out’ pile.” Shuffling the cards around, he neatly stacked the piles and returned to the booklet. “It looks like each of us will get five Cop-Out cards. Jemma, will you do me a favor and distribute those?”

 

“Absolutely, sir!” Reaching across the table, Jemma carefully passed out the cards to each player.

 

“The rules are simple,” Phil continued, though they turned out to be anything but. Several minutes later, he was still reading from the booklet. “...and then the first player to make it to 30 Commitment points is, well...” he trailed off with a chuckle. “Marriage material!” The entire table groaned at the pun, but competitive looks were already forming on each of their faces. 

 

Save for one Lance Hunter.  _ Been there, done that! _ he thought to himself. One failed marriage to the She Beast sitting next to him and he  _ knew _ that he wasn’t marriage material. He’d pushed that phase of his life far away and was willing to leave it be for the rest of his time on Earth. Rolling his eyes and taking another swig of his drink, he sat back and prepared to endure the next hour or so of the mindless game.  

 

Unfortunately, his competitive spirit had never quite left him. Several minutes later, he found himself locked in a heated game, couple on couple.  

 

After reaching necessary 30 points, Fitzsimmons had been eliminated from the game, much to the dismay of the ever-competitive Jemma Simmons. And though Phil and Melinda were less prone to public displays of affection, it was obvious from the game’s standpoint that they were indeed marriage material, and they too were eliminated a short while later. As for Mack and Elena, they had lasted for quite some time before the randomness of the game got the better of them and they each accumulated 30 points.  

 

The four remaining players  – Daisy, Robbie, Hunter and Bobbi  – rounded in at 22, 26, 20, and 20 points respectively.  The room grew tense, and with each new card, the remaining players became more suspicious of one another .  

 

On Robbie’s turn, he reached for his two Cop-Out cards and shook his head. Reaching for the Honey-Do card, he threw his cards up in frustration and leaned over to peck Daisy on the cheek. “I’m out; can’t beat a Commitment 15,” he said before pushing his chair back and heading over to refill his drink.  

 

Narrowing her eyes at her remaining opponents, Daisy rolled her neck from side to side. “You,” she said, looking between Hunter and Bobbi, “are going down. I’m fine with being marriage material, but under no circumstances am I willing to be a loser.” That earned a light laugh from Bobbi, and Hunter looked over to the woman to his left.  

 

Despite knowing that the game was clearly meant to have one winner, Hunter couldn’t help but feel a renewed bond forging between himself and Bobbi. If anyone was going to win, it was going to be one of them. Smirking, Hunter looked down at his cards, proud of himself for hoarding as many Influencer cards as he had. He was planning on using them all against Daisy; her 22 points would hit the dreaded 30 in no time.  

 

Reaching across the table, Daisy drew her first two cards before pulling out the one Honey-Do. She looked up and flipped her Honey-Do card over.  “Event. All players shift cards in hand to the left.” 

 

His smile dropping, Hunter realized that his hoarding had been all for nothing. With no Influencer leverage and the abysmal stack he had been handed by Daisy, he prepared himself to lose. Fortunately, his winning stack was falling into the hands of Bobbi, and despite their shared hatred towards one another, their love for winning outweighed it. Once again, he found himself smiling.  

 

Since the rules stated that Daisy was required to draw yet another card from the Honey-Do pile, she begrudgingly picked up a card. “Ha!” she shouted. “Event. Again. All players shift cards in hand to the left.”

 

“What?!” Hunter cried out. “No, you cheated! There’s no way you could have drawn that card again. Show me the card; I know you cheated!” Looking down at the card Daisy had slid his way, he scowled. Sure enough, Daisy had managed to pull out a familiar Event card, this one blue, while the previous one had been orange.  

 

Huffing, he watched as his former cards (now Bobbi’s) shuffled their way over to Daisy, and a wide smile broke out over her face. Looking down at his own cards, he cursed when he realized that Bobbi had drawn just as poor of a deck as Daisy had.  

 

In just a matter of minutes, Daisy’s measly 22 points remained steady while both his and Bobbi’s points reached the eliminating 30. Coming over to the table and clapping him on the back, Phil smiled down at Hunter and joked, “Looks like you really  _ are _ marriage material...both of you!”  

 

Daisy pushed herself away from the table and promptly declared herself Queen of Game Night. Huffing at the absurdity that some stupid game could predict his future, he pushed his chair back and headed outside to the balcony for some fresh air.  

 

Outside, the stars were hidden behind a thin layer of clouds, the moon just shining through.  

 

“Hey, stranger,” he heard Bobbi call out to him. “Mind if I join you?” His night already down the drain, Hunter shrugged and moved himself along the railing to give Bobbi more room. “I asked Phil not to play that game,” she whispered after a long moment. “Told him it wasn’t a very ‘Valentine’s Day’ game. But you know Phil; he likes gimmicks. Told me it would be fun to see how long everyone lasted. Besides, I don’t think he knew about us, so…”  

 

“S’alright, Bob. Just a stupid game; nothing to it.” They were quiet for some time, the only noise the busy traffic below them. Watching the cars speed by, along with a few couples walking hand in hand, Hunter sighed. This wasn’t how he had pictured his Valentine’s Day going. Perhaps some video games, a nice pizza and a case of beer. Instead, he had been forced to play some awful marriage game with his ex-wife. And, yeah, maybe it had been a little fun teaming up with her again, but his total aversion to anything marriage-related had him grumbling.

 

Feeling a nudge to his side, he looked up from where he was leaning against the rail and into the eyes of Bobbi. “You ever…” she whispered as she circled her finger around the rim of her bottle. “You ever wonder what went wrong with us? ’Cause, according to that game, we should both be perfect candidates for marriage.” Laughing just a bit, he returned his attention to the scene below. He had always wondered what had gone wrong between the two of them. It definitely wasn’t the sex, or the passion;  no, that had always been bloody fantastic.

 

“Dunno,” he paused. “Maybe we just never got the timing right?” Sighing, he pushed himself back and had turned to leave when he felt Bobbi grab his arm. 

 

“Maybe...” She paused, her voice trembling just slightly. “Maybe it’ll be different this time?” Baffled by her words, Hunter nearly dropped his cup.  

 

"What are you saying, Bob? 'Cause if you're saying what I think you're saying, then there's no going back." He swallowed, watching her with more open vulnerability than he'd been able to muster in years. He tapped one finger nervously against the rim of his cup. "I can't do that again.  I know we both screwed up last time, and I know that you hate me and I’m not alway your biggest fan, but I can’t say yes and then have it all fall apart again.”  

 

Pausing, she tried to think of the right words to say. With a hopeful expression, she looked him directly in the eyes and reached out to squeeze his hand. “I know...I know that it failed miserably last time. And I know I said some pretty...awful things to you. But Hunter, this past year has been boring.  _ So _ boring. I never realized how...good we were together. Sure, you’re lazy, and you annoy me half the time.” She laughed at the offended look he gave her, but pressed on, her voice a little quieter. “But you also make me feel alive. You rile me up and make me a better person. There’s never a dull moment with you and I don’t want there to ever be a dull moment again. I’m willing to take the ride if you are?” Eyes shining ever so slightly, she smiled optimistically at him.  

 

He didn’t care how crazy the whole thing was. He wasn’t thinking about how truly horrible things had gone last time. He couldn’t find one single hint of deception in Bobbi’s words. Stepping forward, he captured her lips with his and couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.  

\---

_ One Year Later _

 

“ The path to marriage is a complex one, filled with vast Commitments that prove to your significant other that you are indeed ‘The Marrying Type.’ Do too many of these Commitments and you may quickly find yourself… ”

 

“Marriage material, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it, Coulson!” Hunter called out to Phil, the whites of his eyes showing as he rolled his eyes. Cracking his knuckles and shaking his legs to get any of the tightness out, Hunter sat down at the table and surveyed his opponents.  

 

To his right, Fitzsimmons were staring him down, their twin looks of determination only served to amp up the competitive spirit in the room. Further down, Phil and May sat back in their chairs, not caring whether they won, lost or tied the game. Mack and Elena, just as competitive as the other young couples, sat whispering back and forth to one another, their eyes never leaving the competition. Daisy wore a homemade ‘Queen of Game Night’ shirt and a smirk on her face, as Robbie simply rolled his eyes at her. And to Hunter’s left, he found Bobbi smiling, her cards angled towards him. She had a nice stack: several low-point Commitment cards and two high-point Excuse cards. But mostly, it was the nice shiny ring on her left hand that really made the deck.

 

If losing a stupid game meant that Hunter was forced to hold the title of ‘Marriage Material,’ then so be it.  Bobbi was absolutely worth the 30 points (and so much more).  

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated :)


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